ensalada deliciosa

I made the most delicious salad for lunch today.  While I don't typically share recipes on this blog, I do want to remember what I did today, so that sometime in the future when I am feeling uninspired I can maybe make this same thing.

I threw together:

lettuce
pre-cooked brown rice (leftover from the night before)
black beans (also leftover... I had soaked and boiled up some dry beans a few days before)
fresh tomato
avocado

(I think it would have been really yummy to also add some queso fresco or other cheese, some corn, cilantro... other things of that sort)

then for dressing I just threw on some kosher salt, olive oil*, and lemon juice.

mixed it all together, and voila! Delicious, super easy and fast lunch.





*While we're on the topic of olive oil, you should read this. We recently ran out of olive oil, so when I went to buy some more, I looked for olive oil with those specifications. Sure enough, it is SO delicious! It seriously tastes fruity! And very fresh. Which I love. Plus, fresher equals more nutrition! Woo!

Realizations

Just got back from a trip to Moab with my students and co-workers. We had an awesome time. While I work on writing about that, here are some realizations I've had recently regarding my career explorations.  They maybe seem kind of obvious, but I just recently really learned them for myself:

• I can be and do more than one thing with/in my life.

• Some things can just be hobbies or interests. There are several things that I love, which I don't want to have as a career.

• Just because I am doing one thing now, doesn't mean I have to do that thing and only that thing forever.

• I will change and grow and develop as a person, as time passes, and my needs for a career will change as that happens.  Which just makes life more interesting!

I feel like I've reached a really good place.  Teaching English is perfect. 12 year-olds are fun. Walden is awesome. I love my co-workers.

And teaching. I thought I would never want to be a teacher again.  But coming back to it after a few years of exploration, I can see what a good match it is.  Yes, it can be draining. Yes, planning lessons is sometimes a pain.  But isn't that the case with any job? There will be parts of it I don't like? A huge plus for me, is that I am in control of what happens in my classroom.  I don't have anyone hovering, telling me what to do every second of my day (hallelujah!).  And, there is a ton more social interaction! And I am not sitting at the same desk all day long! ...which I really, really appreciate.

Plus, summer off? I'm totally down with that.

(Today is the last day of school.  Which includes going to Veteran's Memorial Pool for a swim party with all the kids. Pay me to go down waterslides with 12 year olds? Awesome.)

Beautiful.

sometimes i feel like i live in fear of not being able to remember my favorite moments.  beautiful still shots of my life that will pass me by and disappear into the abyss of my memory.

i feel the need to document everything voraciously.  it's maybe a little obsessive.

trying to find a balance.

becoming a real adult.

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. … they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.
Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”
Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

— Relevant magazine (via charliebravo)

Reading this, I am so glad I had the sense to realize how important it was that I do this, and the commitment to stick with it.

And I say that deliberately.  My first instinct was to say that I have been "lucky" to be able to do this.  But I don't think that's entirely accurate.  While circumstances did allow, in some sense, I have actually worked (am working) really hard to make sure that I don't get stuck in a rut.  To try my best to make sure that I become a person "who has used their 20s to learn and grow, to find … themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults."

Initially, the hardest part was coaxing out the courage to make (and stick with) a decision that was maybe not the most practical (not going into the career in which I was trained). I had to remind myself that I was taking some time to explore and try new things.  Experimenting.  But I was motivated by a drive to find my passion, and that kept me going through the hard.

Now, the hardest part is pushing onward.  Doing the hard, day-to-day work of "becoming". Pushing myself.  Always evaluating myself, observing others, finding role models, changing role models, making slight changes to my attitudes, my behavior.  Trying to locate where, exactly, I belong in this world, or where exactly I want to belong in this world. And with my new teaching job, comes the need to become a better teacher.  So there is also that.

Ultimately, though, I am so proud that I am on this path.  As earth-shakingly difficult as it has been at times, I would not take it back.  It is all necessary progress, and all my hard work pays off everyday.  And the more work I do, the more I refine, the better life gets. 

I've realized recently, that if I want to accomplish something, the best way to do that is to just do it.

Don't think about it too hard, don't do too much research in an attempt to get it all right the first time.  And most of all don't get so anxious in thinking about it, that you decide not to do it at all.

Just relax and give it a try.  You can perfect your technique later.  Once you try, you can see where you're lacking, and your fixes will be much more applicable.

I think this is neat.

Happy Mother's Day to all!