Sometimes (actually, most times) I feel uncomfortable in this "new" and different life of mine (my life has changed drastically in the past year). My "new" life, is a life of a big house with my own room, a car of my own, money to go out to eat if I want. A life of big beautiful picture windows in my living room, and nice, new, clean carpet. A life of traveling to Madison to visit my best friend, just because I feel like it. A life of having a full-time, salaried job with benefits. And, get this - it's a job that I actually enjoy.

Not to complain, of course. I have worked hard to get where I am, and most days I love it. Even if it does feel a little unfamiliar.

I often yearn for the cozy closeness of my old life. The smelly basement I lived in. The terrible, old, dark green carpet, thrift store clothes, permanently dirty kitchen. The broken down furniture. The familiar summer evenings on the couches on our front porch, large-bulbed Christmas lights all aglow, listening to Colin or Jana play guitar. Often singing along.

It reminds me of how it feels when your favorite pair of jeans finally wears out. You have to buy a new pair of jeans, but it takes a while to wear them in. And even then, once they're worn in, they still won't feel quite how those old ones did. Which doesn't mean the new jeans aren't great, of course. They're just different.

I'm sure I'll figure out how to infuse my current life with the things I loved from my old one. And hopefully it will grow to be just as full, and rich, and interesting.

This is just a time of transitions, I suppose.